Austin American Statesman's Restaurant Guide came out today. The usual suspects rounded out the Top 10 as usual. Place such as, The Four Season's Cafe, the Driskell Cafe and Hudson's on the Bend all made the top eateries. Let's get real for a second, nobody asked me what my top choices for sophisticated culinary delights are. I'm a man of substantial wealth and elegance, so here's my Top 5:

5.) Taco Bell - A pleasant atmosphere with accents from interior Mexico. The cuisine here is obviously influenced by many of the popular dishes of the Yucitan Pennisula. Try the Marinated Steak Taco Combo and finish it off with a nice Cinnamon Twists and/or Choco-Taco.

4.) Long John Silvers - A personal vice of mine. The food here originates from some of the finer Sea Food Cafe's of the Eastern Sea Board. Head Fry Cook, George Salazer, has had a meatoric rise into fry cook stardom with his newest creations. His #4 Fried Fish Fillet Combo with Hush Puppies has been a favorite of patrons for quite some time now. Don't forget to ring the bell before you leave!

3.) Luby's Cafeteria - This small town eatery is known for their unique turns on traditional meals. From home favorites such as Chicken Fried Steak to Turkey and Dressing, you can't go wrong with anything on the line. The cafeteria's atmosphere is quiet (due to the average age of the customers) and the waitstaff is amongst the best in the business. Bon appetit!

2.) Reale's Pizza and Cafe - Not too far from the fictional tale of Mystic Pizza, Reale's serves up some of Austin's best pies. When entertaining out of town customers who wish to experience the Italian life style first hand, I take them here. They are usually impressed by the Romanesque surroundings and the waitstaff. Many first impressions from my guests include: "Wow, just like the Soprano's!" and "This is exactly how I pictured New Jersey to be..except without the Soprano's." Definately one of my favorite places for Jersey Cuisine.

1.) Pho' Noodle Soup (anywhere) - An exotic mix of hot broth, rice noodles and beef, straight from the Far East or my mom's kitchen. Many of Austin's finest Pho' Restaurants are reminiscent of Vietnam's own cafes. The generally cheap tables and chairs (rustic to some) can be somewhat of a visual hinderance to the untrained patron. The money is spent on the ingredients instead. Just like Vietnam, the soup sides are given on one plate per table in Marxist/Communist fashion, leaving everyone to share. When wanderlust hits me, urging me to visit my homeland and smell the Perfume River of my birthplace Hue, I instead hit the local Pho' next to the Jack in the Box or Target. It's almost like being there.
posted by The H.Bomb| 1:49 PM | email | archive

My Custom License Plates are in!! If you see me creepin', honk and hollar. Peace.

posted by The H.Bomb| 2:17 PM | email | archive

Ash Thursday. Dude, I spent some time last night cleaning The Most Beautiful Car in the World. Even used some of that Eagle One Wax as you Dry stuff, to only have it all thrown out the window. After having it admired by me for hours here at work, I walked away to find out that they're clearing land nearby. Burning trees I see.

My car's now peppered with ash. Bastards, if only they knew they had sullied The Most Beautiful Car in the World.

Watched some of NBC's clone of WB's Come-Drama, ED, last night. I noticed that the actor that plays the title character, Ed, looks alot like my buddy Shawn "The Gimp" Farris. Why not make a show of it?

Seperated at birth? Cloned at some point in Time? Just some cosmic coincidence? Communist plot?

ABC's newest Comedy-Drama: SHAWN. Synopsis: After a career of being B-Class villians in C-Class movies, Shawn moves back to his hometown of Austin, TX to get back at his roots. Shawn purchases an all year "Haunted House" and falls in love (again) with his high school crush Mrs. Simpson (Soph. Geometry Teacher). Although she has aged roughly 10 years since he last saw her, Shawn fancies her. The regular cast of characters from his childhood resurface. Troy, the ex-football star who now runs the Monster Truck Rallies. John, the surly Math Wiz turned part-time High Seas Pirate. Mike, the High School Comic Book Geek who is now an Adult Comic Book Geek. Hai, the sexy Latin-Like Asian who makes all the women in town pant and sweat.

The show will be a mixture of Comedy, Drama and Cartoon...kind alike One Crazy Summer. It will touch on some of Shawn's personal tragedies as well as his accomplishments and envelope the viewer into his dark, seedy underbelly. Coming this Spring, Wednesday's at 8:00 CT.


posted by The H.Bomb| 9:33 AM | email | archive

Things I want for Christmas Part 1: If those of you listening.

• This cool Batman costume.
  
• Personal Helicopter.
  
• Honda ASIMO Personal Robot Butler.
  
• This fly Acura Money Clip (for the ballaz in you).
  
• A 'Build Your Own Castle' Kit.
  

Chop, chop. Step to it!!
posted by The H.Bomb| 3:48 PM | email | archive

Quite possibly, the best looking car ever made. I know there's some competition for the best looking car in the world, but let's get serious now. There's talk about the sleek, classic Italian lines from Modena or even the teutonic gate of those cars from Stuggart, but you really can't beat a bunch of sweaty Japanese drawing away on the Acura RSX.

I know, I know, there's always "It looks like a modern day Delorean!", but can a Delorean get the gas mileage an RSX can? Sure, it can't go "back to the future" or anything, but it has a 4 Yr./50,000 mile warranty. I'd like to see Doc and Marty Mcfly match that. But HZA, the 360 Modena packs nearly 400 Horsepower and 275 lbs. of torque..but hey, I can use regular unleaded. Looks like that chump with the Ferrari is out a few bucks at the Texaco! Suck on that!

Any water-cooled (or air, ha!) Porsche 911 Turbo owners out there? Hey, at least i'm not stigmatized by the "small penis" moniker. Instead, everytime an Acura RSX cruises by the Cheerleader Camp held down the street, the summary goes: "He is so sure of himself that he purchased a luxery Japanese sub-compact sports coupe with a good resale value that his penis must be in the 10+ Inches range."

It's hard to refute any of these facts ladies and gents. I'm not speaking the gospel here, i'm just reporting what's true. Of course, I might be wrong.

Song of the Day:
1.) Bad Finger - No Matter What.
posted by The H.Bomb| 11:40 AM | email | archive

I was there at the convening of Vatican III. Emily and I were invited to a Church Dinner Party/Kegger at her parents house last Saturday, where you'd think the theologian conversations on mind, body and soul would be of the most utmost importance. Instead, an odd detour on who touched Mr. Franks stick and the evil harbors of homo-sexuality were of topic.

I would expect this much from a frat hazing (which was the case of one of Mr. Frank's stories), but not from the pillars of the Leander community. Actually, it was pretty fun and the food was excellent. The highlight of the night was when the entire house chanted to Emily's dad to "CHUG!" his beer down. This, of course, was followed by the entire corus line of Garth Brooks "Friends in Low Places". hahahah..

Spoke to The Gimp today, where he was quite happy to tell us that him and his new girlfriend hope to be living together sometime in the near future. Good luck to him...now i'm going to sleep.
posted by The H.Bomb| 11:23 PM | email | archive